Monday, December 7, 2009

I’m not an angel. Alas! I’m not an angel but a simple young girl whose heart gets disturbed to see pain of others. I can’t fly in the sky and bless people with some magic stick. I have limits of my being a human, limits of money, limits of living in a world that is yet to be developed- ‘a historical world’ where all facilities are scanty in comparison to the developed world.
Even the developed world lacks many developments and ‘expectant observation’ is the best available treatment for many diseases. Most common cause of nearly every disease is ‘idiopathic’. And every drug and surgery carries lots of side effects. Cause of psychological illnesses and their management is still a matter of debate.
In malignancies prognosis is measured in terms of ‘five year survival’… only five. And sometimes it’s also too less. Cancers in late stage are not curable in any part of the world and what you give is just ‘palliative’ treatment. You cut their organs; amputate body parts; give lots of cytotoxic drugs and showers of irritating radiation; then give tons of anesthesias and then… the person dies. You are satisfied that you have tried every treatment in the world to cure the patient…or will you feel hopeless that you’ve failed to save the patient? Individual opinions vary. Some people are angels they see positive side of everything; some are machine men or women who think of the money they’ve earned.
…Not me. I can’t tolerate it. I can’t ignore everything and say, ‘It just happens like that.’ I get very emotional. And a doctor should never do that. I won’ be an ideal doctor. I won’t be a doctor. I won’t practice.
But I don’t want to run away and hide in a luxurious hole and let people die in my absence because I can’t tolerate their death. And that’s why my heart is constantly in some undefined distress. I want to improve the condition… directly or indirectly. And an invention to improve the condition is the best solution, I think.
I want to become a scientist. Because, though I don’t possess any magic stick, I deeply believe in it. I want to bring it to existence. To my disturbed heart it’ll be soothing!7 Healing

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