It is and that's what matters

"It's like a big zero, meaningless, blank, painful, pitiful, extremely hopeless, hopelessly useless, cruel, demanding, demeaning...," sometimes life comes to a point where all efforts seem to be fruitless, we get bombarded with one disaster after another, we get one proof after another of our miserable ineptness, when we lose the sense of direction as if we're trapped in some irremovable fog, noises become so loud that we can't hear our own voice; all we hear are demands, orders and expectations from others especially from our loved ones who somehow seem to have forgotten to love unconditionally; in the bottom of our hearts we're forced to carry an ocean of endless emptiness studed with dying desires, comatose mutilated dreams and above all with an incurable sense of agonizing loneliness... it's the time when we're forced to find out the cause to sustain life or to bear it, to choose whether to continue or to quit... "Why me," is another pathological thought that consumes much energy to get repressed.

This painful feeling grows with age and by the time a kid reaches young adulthood it already has become overwhelming... Some are lucky that they never get these bouts of madness, some succeed in getting rid of it and living a 'normal' life, and in fulfilling all the expectations while still carrying that ocean of emptiness buried somewhere in depths of their minds... some quit, and the remaining ones make their names as synonyms of madness... prove either to be extremely productive or to be completely useless, all their fate depending upon where they direct their search for themselves.

Madness isn't that worthless I feel; it does worth a try or maybe many. Life is slippery, we can't hold it; no matter how stagnant we feel it is, it's always on the move. We're not stationary things, we're humans, time is bound to change us, so are the situations, our feelings and experiences. What we have today there's no guarantee that we'll possess tomorrow... and this includes along with our talents our adversities, pains, failures, all the noxious stimuli evoking fears tears and cravings, our madness, desire to do something, to love, dreams of creating something, of making some difference, our energy, our youth...

Things change with time, just for example- once upon a time I used to write comedy, now comedy seems to have divorced to my pen; it just doesn't come, every sentence comes with a tinge of tears. I wish I would have written some more at that time..... I may write it now if I try hard, but some things are just irreversible. I can be curious, but I can't be a kid. Time affects every single aspect of our lives. To avoid this 'I wish I would have' feeling in future, we must move today.... Our desire of doing something, the endless craving, the sense of not feeling satisfied with the current situation, in other words 'the madness' is only the chance we've been given by the destiny, we shall not lose it by feeling overwhelmed... what if all of a sudden we get some frontal lobe lesion and like Phineas Gage get converted into creatures those can be called in words of his friends as 'no longer us'... we shall not ignore what we have and waste it in crying for what we haven't.

Instead of feeling sad due to the expectations from our loved ones, or feeling that our love is unrequited, we shall think of exploiting our desire to take care of them.. who knows tomorrow some pathology or trauma might happen to our brains and we may lose completely the sense of heavenly pleasure we get for caring them. This uncertainty applies to every field of our life, and this makes the current moment crucial.

It (the current moment) may be like a big zero, meaningless, blank, painful, pitiful, extremely hopeless, hopelessly useless, cruel, demanding, demeaning whatever... but it is and that's what matters, and we must make something from it before it passes away.

discard labels... be humans

I hate boundaries, I always have... Restrictions suffocate me, so do some unexplainable rules. Division of humankind on basis of states, countries, continents and even casts, religions and races make me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm immature, maybe completely mad, but I really can't digest the concept of nationalism, can't understand what on Earth people try to achieve by fighting for boundaries, ruling other nations, or by killing for religions casts and some strange beliefs... and even by saluting to some flags. Can't there be a constitution bigger than the constitutions of each and every state and each and every nation, a constitution of humankind? Can't there be a big flag representative of the whole of the humankind rather than that of a tiny fraction of it? Can't there be a sacred book sacred to people of all religions? Can't we remember the fact that we're humans before we get labeled as members of some tiny community? Is it mandatory to waste resources such as money time and manpower and to sacrifice lives for fighting for little causes like what little immature kids do? Is it mandatory to look at our near and distant neighbors as our competitors, and to set our goals as to overpower them and to make them to lose, especially when we know that there are real problems out there those we need to tackle as humans? Can't we be partners instead of being rivals and work as a team using our differences to compensate for the weaknesses of each other to reach to a common goal of making human life better?

It sounds good to focus on a tiny part of a system and to feel dedicated to it, as it sounds easy to improve the tiny part than improving the whole system... but it'll be a foolishness to ignore the fact that the tiny part is a part of the whole system, and any damage to any other part of the system is bound to cause at least some harm to the part we feel we're dedicated to. Even if we happen to live in an isolated community on an isolated island, still there are things like pollution global warming and altering balance of the ecosystem which can affect us directly or indirectly... and most of us aren't that isolated. A citizen or member of some community is a bigger word than just an individual, but it's much tinier than the word human as we all are members of humankind.

It seems hard to think of equality when things aren't really equal; there are differences in geographic conditions, educational awareness, health and hygiene, availability of resources, faiths and belief systems, extent of social pathologies like money mindedness and corruption... and many more; but we're always free to grow, to introspect and overcome our weaknesses; and instead of looking at others as obstacles in our path or as potential threats to our existence or as something we've to overtake, we are free to look at them as other part of our world and learn from them and seek help from them to overcome our shortcomings while simultaneously helping them to overcome theirs. We're always free to choose to be helping humans instead of acting as area or dominance driven quadrupeds. I think that cooperation rather than competition is the key to success, satisfaction, and evolution; but it requires more strength patience and dedication, and an entirely different mindset... and fortunately all of these are achievable by practice.