Monday, January 10, 2011

The saga of jealousy

It’s something deep in mind, a weakness, a fear, a sense of being incompatible… and it kills others. Where in Darwin’s theory of evolution, does this jealousy stand? Is it a disease or a pathological state of otherwise innocent mind? Or is it characteristic of some villain hidden in the dark depth of everyone’s mind? Is it a fact… unavoidable… or an avoidable catastrophe?

When it affects friends, the friendship ends… relationships go to hell… siblings become enemies, lovers become filled with hatred, joyous stimuli offer punishment… what is that, that dares to snatch all the happiness, and fills the innocent heart with filth of being jealous? Why people want to pull others’ legs? Why they can’t tolerate the victory of their own pals? Is life only a competition? Is it just a game of win or loss? To prove our superiority, do we need to prove others as lower? Can’t life be just a simple win- win situation?

When it affects them, teachers stop distributing knowledge, and co workers start gossiping in ears… care takers become life takers. It has happened in epics… it forms a part of our history books… we read it in news papers, we feel it happening to us… and sometimes we can’t stop but feel jealous of other ‘lucky’ creatures. I wonder if there is any research explaining the phenomena behind this evil emotion. Is it something that humans (and also other ‘higher’ animals) feel when they see someone getting something they feel she doesn’t deserve? What if the person in question perfectly deserves what she gets? Or is it something people feel when they see others getting something they want, but don’t get… even when they know the person deserves that achievement, and even when the person is very good to them? Or is it a reflection of insecurity they feel about themselves, rather than about the achiever? Being a victor or loser has no effect on being jealous… as if unsatisfied; the victor may be envious of some capacities of the loser one, and if not strong minded, the loser is always jealous of the victory of victor… Is it universal… is it acceptable? And… is it reversible? To this social illness, isn’t there any cure? Is altruism an illusion? Is ‘happiness in the happiness of others’ mere a theoretical word collection?

But I’ve seen angels, there are some people craving constantly for other’s smiles. And I’ve experienced someone called a villain saving lives of others… and seen her transforming from villain to heroine to again villain again to heroine… I’ve seen hatred melting away, and smiles erasing frowns. I’ve touched the softness in the hearts of hardest stones, and felt the hardness of softest hearts… but sill I don’t understand where and why in this world does jealousy stand…

It’s a bad power, causing lethal mutation of soul. It is a bad kid of comparison, a habit of peeping into others’ lives and killing your own soul with negligence; it is a sign, symbol, symptom of lack of confidence… or is it a pathological transformation of a desire to be equal? How comes the same desire stimulating some persons to lift others up and to be angels, stimulates jealousy in some other persons?

It is a disease getting born as a small larva, and eating the person, then her pals, then the society, countries continents and the whole world and becoming an anaconda or a dragon… I hope true love, true faith, true devotion, true satisfaction and true sacrifice are immune to this infection…

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