to search someone

Crisis isn't a good thing to have, but it's the same phenomenon making us stronger, tough enough to survive it, and making us to introspect, to search the reason of tolerating, the meaning of being alive; it's the same phenomena forcing us to get introduced to the stranger hidden in our mind. It's not a stranger in reality, it's we only, but years and years of masking it and hiding it from ourselves, the practice of assuming a normal appreciable suitable personality makes us strangers to ourselves.

To me, crisis is the incidence when the focus is lost, and the sense of direction is lost, when hopes are dead and we don't see what's ahead of us leave apart the finish line, when we search but don't find the zenith of our dreams- making us to believe that it's absent, when we stop believing- believing in ourselves, in others, in anything we used to believe, when we stop loving ourselves and then our loved ones, when we start thinking of life as a meaningless co- incidence or as some disgusting existence, when every single activity becomes a war against ourselves, when we start making mistakes while attempting to find solace, and when we become depressed, sad and destructive after finding out that there's no solace... when the soul is getting crushed every moment under burden of some unexplainable pain, when tears of loneliness get circulated with every beat of heart, when we are losers, tiny loathsome miserable creatures unable to make any difference in ourselves and in our filthy surroundings, when there's no beauty in sight, all smiles are artificial, kids are annoying and adults selfish... the problem is in us, to us we're unlucky mortals destined to be failures.

In other words crisis is the time to clean up our minds of the layers of dust of bad feelings, to get introduced to the beautiful sweet confident winner hidden inside, who's never dead, and who thinks of life as a chance or as a mission, and her loved ones as gifts from heaven, who finds beauty in even ugliest minds and rays of hopes in darkest situations, who knows herself and has endless faith in herself undeterred by adversities, who believes in smiles, in innocence, in good purposes and in her dreams, whose heart is a heaven itself or is the endless sky wishing to protect the innocence of every mind she comes in contact with, who's not ignorant to pain but believes that it can be erased by helping healing other wounded souls, who knows that she's not some static or stagnant thing but is a dynamic human having a capacity to be better stronger and more helpful to the world, and her activities are bound to make difference in her life and in that of others... she knows that she can always choose her response to the situation... she can always choose to be an angel when she can be some lethargic inactive sufferer or even a demon.

These are two extremes, and crisis gives us a chance to move from the bad end of the spectrum to the good one... and we can always choose to stay at the good end by not allowing the bad feelings to mask the depth of our minds.