to make some difference...

It's like swimming in some endless ocean, I feel sometimes, where we're tiny miserable creatures, trying desperately to come out of it, with no sense of destination, no sense of direction, no strong hopes of getting out of it, no purpose for getting out of it or for staying in it... moving hands and legs tirelessly, bearing the pain, with no joy in doing it, the waves in the form of different strange unforeseen incidents dragging us pushing us to random directions. Life, sometimes, seems like a meaningless occurrence, a negligible phenomenon with everything summing up to a big zero, meaningless, waste.

Something happens then, someone calls, asks for something, someone say thanks, someone blames... results we're waiting for arrive, either we succeed or we fail, something pleases the mind, something hurts it making a deep stabbing wound—we get some feedback... the endless moment of meaninglessness ends making us to feel alive. Part of this universe—we constantly interact with the part of universe other than us. The interactions, our actions and reactions, efforts of the body to stay alive or of the mind to know about life, the thought of we impacting rest of the universe enables us enough to keep on trying doing the seemingly meaningless tasks.

Maybe it's negligible, maybe it's short lasting; maybe we're too tiny and short living to affect the universe, but to the universe we can sense and track and keep record of—to the universe of us humans, we can hope to be something more than negligible... almost anything we do, our any decision, any action whether thoughtful or mindless can affect our world: our world with randomness as an important deciding factor, luck as a major controller; we can't control luck, but we can learn to be wise enough to control our wish to control the luck, to know the factors we can control, to be consistent in our efforts of controlling the controllable... maybe that's what we need to make some difference—significant, and essential to sustain our humankind.