Monday, January 13, 2014

sorry dear restrictions, you can’t last

Nope… I can’t hold on; sorry dear restrictions, you can’t last.
Through years I had gathered you,
Spending my tears, and unfulfilled expectations
Shocks, cheatings and mediocrities…

It’s not that now I’m in heaven,
It’s not that I’ve won some big shot
The world is as it was before
Why shall I listen to my foolish heart…?

I don’t feel like queen of the world
It’s just me… but glad
It’s as if I stepped into some time machine
And I’m a curious happy child

The wounds, open and unhealed,
Marks by failures, and battle scars
They’re still here, but silent and numb
How are you fellows, have you lost your life?

The negativity, the pains
Doubts suspicions and useless efforts
Gifts by torture, and shocking past
I’m afraid… dear companions, we’re getting apart

Had thought of you as partners of life,
Binding me with shackles stronger than my mind
What happened, where is the bitterness?
Has your poison lost its taste?

What is it… some strange flower
Bathing my mind in sweet fragrance
Or is it some sort of blast
Giving energy to keep on?

I did nothing, it just happened
Decisions, actions and even beliefs
Beautiful, mediocre or even ugly ones
I know nothing is in our hand

I’m not immature to take pride
Still humble but thankful… don’t know why
Instead of weeping or being serious
What is it that’s making me to smile…?

It’s something… ah, I can’t define
Vague to the extreme, can’t see its form
Powerful, I can’t resist
Still trying to find what it is…

Searching for the reason, the cause the agent
Maybe it’s some feeble ray of hope
But it’s glittering with some strange light
Alas, can’t see a thing beyond the joy…

Wisdom surely has its place
Consciousness is surely not useless
Experiences are meant to teach
Every dream can’t be the truth…

Or maybe it’s an afterthought
Consciousness may just be a part
Incomplete, and insufficient
To understand the activities in mind’s heart

Getting tired in trying to interpret it
Whatever it is… I just can’t stop it
Can’t guess, can’t understand
Can’t decide, can’t even hold on

Here I give up, accept my defeat
Oh strange feeling, I lose you win…
Surrendering my wisdom and pains of ages
I live as I always have… but with a feeling of being alive

I’m alive, yes I am
The dull dead end seems to be gone
What is it making me so popular…,
Plenty of actions waiting to be carried out?

No serenity, no peace
The restlessness strikes again
I must do something
Here… I start feeling again

It’s as if the coma has ended,
So have the darkness, deafness and loneliness
I breathe and feel like breathing…
From where I got back my senses..?

I know it may not last
Joy can be followed by a depression attack
No brain… you’ve lost the charge
Now give up your skepticism and follow my heart


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. 100% correct Dreamer- Believer; there’s no point in staying morose…